JPATTY: A Living Legend

I have had the honor of calling Jason Patrick Ferris a … “friend” for three years. And when I say “friend,” I use the term very lightly. Perhaps you have seen him meandering around the hallways, about yea high and with the same pair of baggy jeans and Adidas shoes every day. I have tried for so long to get him to switch his wardrobe up a little, because it’s good for the soul, but he sticks to what he knows. Which I guess is also good for the soul. Furthermore, he refuses to listen to logic and reason. To quote his good friend Katharine, “I’ve told him to chill every day for the past three years and every time we write an in-class essay I hear exasperated ‘whews’ and whining ‘what issss this?’ and of course the mild disgruntled huffs from my right.” His fairy godmother, Michael Miles, says “JPatty is problematic, he is… something else. To be honest with you, he’s EXTRA. In Every. Single. Way. He is also very snappy and always quick with comebacks. Sometimes you need to bust his mouth wide open to check him (something I do quite frequently). But you do what you gotta do, right?” But, we can only take inspiration from his determination to do well on in-class essays, and his quick wit, while at times a little aggressive, is certainly admirable.

Let me also say that Jason Patrick Ferris is a good friend, which to some might not sound like a lot, but to me, sitting here at the cafe across from Kings Cross station, it is everything. He is one of the best writers, perhaps even THE best that Leonardtown High School has to offer. The way he weaves words into sentences can’t be replicated. He cares deeply about people who are important to him, and he is ridiculously witty and salty when shade needs to be thrown. He is the best red haired person you will ever meet, and if you ever complain about him, we here at the Journalism team will F-I-G-H-T fight you.